DEER HUNTERS...YOU GOTTA LOVE 'EM?

Good Morning Readers,

Today's topic is about deer hunters. I have nothing good or bad to say about deer hunters, other than my own personal experiences with Dear Hubby for the last thirty years or so. Personally, I love deer meat, when I can get it, because although DH loves to hunt, he rarely brings in the kill.

Every year, it's the same old sorry thing. Along about the first of Sept., he gets "itchy." Drives me insane, because, one, he only hunts during rifle season and it doesn't start where I live until the first Sat. of the week of Thanksgiving.

All the same, he starts talking about getting his hunting license, his tag, his gun ready, his bullet, because hey, he'll only need one for the kill. His orange hunting vest he'll have to find because God knows he can't remember where he put it from the year before. (Pssst. Damn good thing I hung it up in the closet just like I've done for the last...well by now, you know how many years.

Included in this long list, is getting his other supplies and food gathered. (He's like a bear preparing for winter hibernation and no matter how many times I say, "Hon, we'll take care of that closer to time.") Do ya think he listens? No way!

Along with gathering these yearly supplies, he's changing the oil in and gasing up the 4-wheeler, cause Lord knows these little jewels are sooo quiet, one can sneak right up on the poor unsuspecting deer.

I won't even begin to tell you the number of times he loads up said 4-wheeler and hauls his buns to the woods just so he can look for "Deer Sign." Because you know, where that deer is today, it'll certainly be there tomorrow, same time, same place.

He puts out corn. (Numerous sacks of corn)Waste of time and money. He did this one year and some other hunter took his spot he'd been preparing for weeks. Cracked me up when he came home griping about it.

The latest thing he's putting out to attract that big buck? Peanut butter! On the trees. OMG!!! I can't imagine how many trees he's painted with it. He came home last night from the deer woods telling me how he and his hunting buddie bought four jars of peanut butter and smeared it on the trees.

Again, I'm cracking up and told him all he'd attract with that was ants. But hey, that's okay cause he said the deer would just eat the ants too...

Is it just me or do the males of our species go just a little bit insane every year about this time? I see hundreds of campers, men in orange and all they're doing is driving up and down the highway a dozen damn times and I'm thinking, Aren't the deer in the woods?

I can think of better places I'd rather be at four a.m. than out in the cold, stealing through the woods, possibly getting mistaken for a deer and shot for my trouble.

This morning, however, topped it off for me...DH was getting ready to leave and in his hurry to dash out the front door, poured a glass of icewater on my keyboard.

Now there's nothing that sparks my temper any quicker than for anyone to stumble around in the dark at said four a.m. when I'm trying to sleep, and dumps water on my computer board.

Knowing how anal I am about my precious computer when I ask him what he's doing (Because I keep hearing this odd sound of him cleaning) he tells me he knocked over some quarters I have stacked on my desk. But this odd cleaning sound goes on and on and it's not like I have a big stack of quarters there.

Suspicion flares."What are you doing?" I ask.
"Oh, I spilled a little bit of water on your computer."

Let me tell you, my eyes popped open and out of bed I rolled because I know his little bit and my little bit are two entirely different numbers. It turns out to be the flippin' glass full of water. Big glass.

By now, I'm wide-awake. He's apologetic. I'm ticked. I have no clue what damage it will do to my computer, but right at the moment, my "V" keeps sticking and some of the keys seem to be getting harder to press down...

However, basically I'm a pacifist. I won't mistake him for a deer in my bedroom and plug DH with his single bullet.I'm nice. I tell him to go on hunting, but underneath it all, he KNOWS there won't be any supper cooked and waiting on him when he returns home later today.

Gee, I hope his hunting buddie doesn't fall asleep in the deer woods today the way he did yesterday and miss that big buck snacking on peanut butter!

Happy Hunting,
Tabs